Worst. Line. Ever.

Posted on December 12th, 2005

It says “Copywriter” on my business cards, but I introduce myself as a writer for the same reason the 2nd Assistant Director introduces himself as a director – it just sounds cooler. Particularly when you're a member of the second most loathed industry in Western society. On the bright side, when the revolution comes, we'll have the lawyers to use as human shields.

This next part sounds like I am changing the subject. I am not.

Desperate to burn through the agency health plan's use-it-or-lose-it $500 subsidy before year end, I invariably get a lot of massages in December. And so it was that, making the polite massage-small-talk that is anathema to relaxation but the price of being Canadian, I happened to mention that I was a writer. Whereupon the masseuse told me her kids were HUGE fans of mine and she read them my work every night.

Hoping she didn't mean this comic – and then trying to wrap my head around her lulling her children to sleep with your descriptions of Jamie's penis – I quickly figured out she'd seen the name Mutch on her schedule and mistaken me for Robert Munsch, beloved children's authour and the best-selling writer in Canada. He is also sixty years old, which should give you some idea of what I look like naked.

I'm rethinking the whole introduction thing.

- Graham

Which authour do YOU think I look like naked? Send your thoughts to graham@wordsandpicturesonline.com.


UPDATE: The existence of the Good Humour Scatman has been confirmed by none other than the fine folks at Unilever Ice Cream. They are understandably reluctant to provide a link to the spot.

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