It’s still better than anything on TLC

Posted on May 26th, 2014



How did you spend your weekend? Playing with your kids? Hooking up with random strangers? Working on a pitch?

In what can only be described as a perfect storm of misery, the citizens of Duluth were forced to squander their weekend gazing into the yawning abyss that is Arby’s new TV spot. As if living in Duluth wasn’t already punishment enough.

Have you ever looked at an Arby’s sandwich? I mean, really looked? The folds of slick, greasy flesh spill over each other like the rippling belly fat of a disemboweled Santa. It’s Jabba the Hutt’s genitals on a bun. You simply can’t unsee it.

Now imagine being forced to stare at that, Clockwork Orange style, for thirteen solid hours.

How long until your mind snaps? How long before desperation drives you claw your eyes from their sockets in a screaming ecstasy of horror and relief?

Impossible to say. But I do know this:

The people of Duluth no longer fear hell.

-Graham

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