Requiem for Methuselah

Posted on March 31st, 2008

I'm younger than Jamie and Lori. Throughout school, I was always the youngest one in my class. I wear jeans and a T-shirt to work and carry my laptop around in a backpack. And now, having seen myself through the eyes of interns and juniors, I realize that I am a wizened old man-crone.


As I struggle to type these words with the arthritic claws I call hands, squinting through bifocals and perched uncomfortably atop my hemorrhoid cushion, my decaying mind drifts back to happier times. Ah, to be young again, pedalling my penny-farthing along a dirt road to the local music hall for a kinetoscope exhibition!

Where was I? Ah, yes!

So I'm flipping past the "classic" (i.e. old) movie channel the other night and there, filling the 9:00-11:30 slot between Terms of Endearment and A Clockwork Orange, was The Matrix.

Fuck. Off.

There's no way The bullet-time-innovating-I-totally-remember-the-night-we-saw-this Matrix qualifies as retro. I don't give a damn if it was released during the previous millennium. Or that your average intern was a pre-teen when it came out. Or... uh... crap.


P.S. Speaking of time gone by, it was nearly two and a half years ago that we posted this comic and asked our readers for proof of the Good Humour Scatman. We pretty much gave up hope when Unilever told us that they'd buried the spot, so you can imagine our delight when sassydagger sent us this:

That's Robert Gant as the Good Humour Man. You might also know him from his work as Billy's Dad in Billy's Dad Is A Fudge-Packer.

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