Like the
War on Terror or sleeping with your boss, it must have seemed
like a good idea at the time. The Beijing summer games will
reach an estimated four billion television viewers, over one
billion more than tuned in to Athens in '04. According to one
study, Chinese sports fans are 68% more likely to buy brands
that sponsor the games. That's 1.3 billion consumers right there,
even allowing for imprisoned dissidents. Who wouldn't
want their brand associated with that money-making factory?
And yet...
My heart
goes out to the poor bastard who trained his whole life to earn
the right to carry that torch, only to be physically attacked
as a symbol of human rights violations. No wonder sponsors are
feeling a bit skittish.
Who wants to be The Official Soft Drink of The
Genocide Olympics?
Here's a
thought. If you really have your heart set on dragging
your multi-billion-dollar
brand through the mud, why not give us the money?
For the comparatively low, low cost of just five million dollars
– Canadian! – Jamie and I will personally deliver
$50 million worth of PR disasters. We're talking bargain
basement Buddhist beatings. At no extra charge, we will also
arrange for Mia Farrow to compare
you to a Nazi collaborator in the Wall Street Journal. This
is a limited time offer, so act now!
-Graham
P.S. In
the interest of full disclosure, Toronto was the runner-up in
the bid for the 2008 games. I couldn't have been happier when
we lost, though. Finding a parking space downtown sucks enough
as it is.
What would an advertising
site be without the fine print? Here goes: Any reference to actual brands
on this site is for satirical purposes only and is in no way endorsed by their
parent companies
or the agencies that represent them. Neither is any harm intended towards
the aforementioned brands, companies and agencies. Quite the contrary —
we may well come begging for a job one day.
And really, wouldn't you rather sue Adbusters?
