And they say nobody reads long copy

Posted on November 14th, 2005

It never ceases to be of interest to us that we are of interest to you. Don't get me wrong – I love each and every one of you. Bless your bored, procrastinating hearts.

When Jamie and I started this, we figured our readership would include friends, family and maybe a few ad people from around Toronto. Our first bit of fan mail from New Delhi gave me new appreciation for the viral nature of the Internet and a new respect for the folks in the Interactive department.

Of course, a quick perusal of our stats page tells me that not everyone who arrives here meant to. Here's a random sample of real searches that led new readers to our site:

the hangy thing pictures
cheat commandos os
pictures of kelsey grammer
planet danger i can put my arm back on
superiority complex pictures
uvula pictures
chocolate ad photos
don't say a word pictures

luerzers archive online
sick every monday
closer than a blade or your money back
pictures business two persons comic
linda blair pictures
graham steadman pictures
what blogs cost american business
me toothless

monica belluci pictures
self flagellation catholicism
pictures of carrottop
aishwarya rai words
cheesecake galleries
pictures of the word no
pictures of someone begging

My heart goes out to the poor bastard who, lotion and tissues at the ready, searches for cheesecake galleries only to end up here. But it does give me an idea.

For example, let's say I write about the Clint Eastwood movie in which John Malkovich says “I'm going to the kill the President of the United States.” Fifteen seconds after I post, we have new readers from the Secret Service. Hi guys.

And now, a story:

A few weeks before Christmas, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson and Pam Anderson were playing online poker and exchanging Thanksgiving recipes. In the nude. While downloading Star Wars on Kazaa.

Boom. I just quintupled our traffic. Welcome new readers.

- Graham

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