Version 2.0

Posted on September 5th, 2005

We're really nice guys – just ask anyone who knows us. That being said, inflammatory remarks are a staple here. So are insults, vicious verbal attacks, tasteless jokes, derogatory slang, thinly veiled criticisms, passive-aggressive observations, countless obscenities, dick-jokes, self-deprecating scenarios, and plenty of things we probably wouldn't say to our parents.

Occasionally it crosses the line. We did that with a strip and I got cold feet. Graham did not. He's much more of a dick than me. Just ask him. He'll very politely tell you to fuck off. (Probably with a British accent)

- Jamie


Jamie and I created this site, at least in part, as a creative outlet for the stuff we would never, ever be able to do for our more corporate clients. This, we told ourselves, would be the one place on earth where anything goes, with no Creative Director, account team, client, client´s superiors, client´s superiors´ superiors or legal department to play “art by committee”. We discussed the cowardly act of “republishing”, retroactively altering content and pretending the original never existed. We condemned the practice and swore we would never stoop to it.

We lasted six strips.

What you´re looking at, the sixth strip of our neonatal vanity project, is actually the seventh. The TRUE sixth, too good for this world, enjoyed a lifespan shorter than a Middle East ceasefire. I wrote it. Jamie drew it. We agreed it was funny as hell and uploaded it. There was no blog because I am a lazy bastard, but I´d promised to write one that night. I didn´t, and I really can´t overstate the lazy bastard thing, but it didn´t really matter since the strip vanished a few hours later.

The original was, in my opinion, much funnier and, in the opinion of at least three others, much, much more offensive. I-will-not-have-that-in-my-house offensive. Which is funny, because it´s so subjective. The replacement strip is true: I really do find the word “cunt” misogynist and Jamie really doesn´t. It´s an ongoing argument we have and, in order to make my point that certain words have power independent of the speaker´s intent, I invariably whip out the big guns, the words so taboo and loaded with cultural baggage it makes you wince just to hear them. That was the lexicon of our original strip.

I´ll leave the language to your imagination, but I will say that Jamie was ACTUALLY WORRIED SOME OF OUR READERS WOULD TRACK HIM DOWN AND HURT HIS FAMILY if we kept it up.

I don´t know about that, but the few people I showed it to in hopes of swaying Jamie instead validated his decision to play it safe. So I´ll go along this time. But Han still shot first.


P.S. Let the record show that the index finger of my grotesquely swollen hand looks like an uncircumcised penis. Nice work, Jamie.

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