Oh my God, the agony. I'm not even referring to the public humiliation that inevitably concludes my laughable attempts at seduction. No, I'm talking about that fact that this comic was, for obvious reasons, created before Jamie went on vacation... rendering us powerless to satirize recent stories that will be old news by the time he returns next week.
I'm talking about Pete "Please Drink Responsibly" Coors getting busted on a DUI. CP&B creating a feature film for Burger King. Above all else, I'm talking about Randy Jackson's ill-advised decision to become the face of Oreos.
Damn you, Jamie. Damn you to hell.
P.S. to Marc in Toronto: At the risk of unintentionally alienating innocent Marcs... you're a fucking idiot. Most people would gladly crawl through broken glass for a shot at what you threw away. Moron.
P.P.S. Words vs. Pictures will return - with Jamie - on July 24.
Sympathy for Monsieur Vengeance
Last week, I called Zidane's head-butt weak sauce and I stand by that, but his claim that he lost it because Materazzi ripped into his mother and sister gives me pause. If Jamie were here, he'd be the first to tell you that I respond... poorly... to perceived attacks against my family. I don't have enough that I can afford to take them for granted so, yeah, I'm a little crazy about it. That's still no excuse for what Zidane did... but, if it's true, I'd consider it sufficient explanation.
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