God, I love/hate pitch mode. We've spent the last week and a half trying to blindly outperform equally talented competitors on 90 minutes sleep a night. That's not remotely a joke. That is a fact. I'm sure you've done the same, so I hope you'll forgive us for completely dropping the ball on last week's non-existent words vs. pictures update. We honestly had every intention of doing it but, having already put our jobs before our children, it seemed downright evil to prioritize our vanity project - much less a subsection that only a fraction of our visitors show any interest in. Put another way, we punished our most faithful fans for their loyalty and continued interest but let's not put it that way. Instead, please accept this shiny, new words vs. pictures with our best wishes and abject apologies.
With our term of sequestration now at an end, we find ourselves emerging into the harsh light of a strange new world, much changed in our absence:
- Evidence of alien life has been reported on CNN.com (not on the main page though - I guess they save that for important stories like the woman who got the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich tattooed on her boob).
- The world's first portrait of a human face has been discovered in a French cave.
- My hometown has been targeted by teenage terrorists. (Dear CSIS: you rock. Dear idiots vandalizing mosques in retaliation: you do not.)
- Batman has gone from dark anti-hero to poorly written child-abuser.
- And, most importantly, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have created life. No image of this Starchild yet exists, probably because the technology required to photograph a being composed of pure light has yet to be developed.
P.S. Thanks to everyone - and you were legion - who wrote in to assure us you understood last week's comic. You've left the door open for a Rocket Robin Hood sequel.
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