To everything (churn, churn, churn) there is a season (churn, churn, churn)

Posted on October 23rd, 2006

Every year around this time, Jamie drops a catalogue on my desk so I can drop some cash on his son's school. Last year it was candles shaped like snowmen. The year before that it was Precious Moments figurines. This year it's magazines. The moment his second child was born, I called an emergency meeting with my financial planner.

Can anybody tell me why Fit Pregnancy offers a 12-month subscription? I love saving 79% off the newstand price as much as the next guy, but I'm just not sure I see the point of those last three issues. Can you really fill that much space with Kegel exercises? I don't want to be cruel (well... not about this, anyway), but I can't help but wonder if the magazine doesn't have something in common with Hustler after all, inasmuch as both target people fantasizing about what they cannot have.

Okay, that felt mean. No wonder people vote for Jamie regardless of whether or not he even posts. But that only makes my victories so much sweeter.

I saw The Prestige on Saturday and, if it were up to me, this week's debate would be "Who'd win a fight between Batman and Wolverine?"* It's not up to me, though; it's up to you. And you've asked "Is baby talk (poo-poo wee-wee) stupid or good parenting?" Which is to say, Jennifer S. asked. Which is to say, I chose Jennifer's question because it meshed nicely with the comic. So I guess it's up to me after all. Suckers.

Don't fool yourselves; Jamie and I are fighting to prove who's the better parent.

This one's gonna get ugly.


P.S. I was so hung up on the new Sony Bravia ad last week that I missed my chance to talk about Dove: Evolution. Shows you how good my instincts are. This is why I'll never be a Cannes judge.




*The correct answer is: the Canadian berserker with the foot-long claws and mutant healing factor unless he was fighting the Adam West Batman, who'd undoubtably have some kind of "Wolverine Neutralizing Spray" on his utility belt.

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