Cease & desist from Mattel in 5... 4...

Posted on March 9th, 2009

I wrote the title before the comic and I kind of regretted it afterwards, having put myself in her place. Then I flashed back to several dozen viewings of Barbie Fairytopia: Magic of the Rainbow and my hate was rekindled a thousandfold.

If you think fifty-two seconds of that is unbearable, try six years.

My intention had always been to raise my daughters in complete ignorance of Barbie, Barney and the Teletubbies, but I completely neglected to account for cultural osmosis.

im in ur daycare, undermining ur parenting
"Hi, Mr. Mutch. Can Adrianna come out and be indoctrinated?" 

Unless you're that Austrian guy who kept his daughter imprisoned under the stairs for 24 years, your children will be lost the second they set foot in daycare.

One of these things is not like the others
I love how the girl on the left is being restrained as insufficiently frilly. Not so fast, lesbian!

That fact that I am part of the system that brainwashed my children is not lost on me. On the upside, it also gave us this awesome ad for a dog that eats its own excrement:



P.S. Thanks to Radovan for correcting my geography after I incorrectly identified the Austrian weirdo as a German weirdo. 

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