The Mystery of the Missing Lion, Part 2

Posted on January 11th, 2010

You think you know the people you work with, but you don't not until you become the guy who assigns teams to projects. Suddenly, you see behind the facade of professionalism and discover exactly who secretly despises whom. It's like a bloody logic puzzle. Abe wears a blue shirt and refuses to work with Barbara. Carol refuses to work with the man in the green shirt. What colour is Barbara's shirt? This, inevitably, leaves me wondering who secretly hates me. Jamie and I try very hard to be people you'd like to work with, but there's no pleasing everybody. Some people even hate chocolate and, even at my sweetest, I am no chocolate. Neither, clearly, is Jamie. He actually made the sign and somebody actually tore it down and tore it up. The next day, someone broke into his Jeep in the agency parking lot but couldn't be bothered to steal a vehicle without power locks. Can you blame them?


P.S. to the thief: Maybe you're secretly in love with Jamie and only stole his award so you could add it to the Jamie Shrine in your basement and occasionally have sex with it. That's totally cool. I'll just assume you haven't been stalking me because you're intimidated by my unusually large penis. I get that a lot.

P.P.S. Barbara's shirt is green. Abe and Carol are refusing to work with her because they're prejudiced against pre-op transsexuals.

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