Please understand that we would never criticize Rihanna for selling out. We don't even have a measurable Q score and we're selling shit with our faces on it (and at such reasonable prices!). But, still... umbrellas? Isn't that a wee bit obvious? To say nothing of boring. Oh, it would be the perfect choice for Patrick Macnee or Burgess Meredith, but surely a nineteen-year-old pop starlet would be better off with a perfume or fundamentalist swimwear.
Still, I've seen stranger examples of merchandising:
In the history of teddy bear figurines, has there ever been one quite so cocksure? Imagine him perched on your night table, watching you have sex.
"God damn you to hell for this."
This last one is particularly awesome, as I never realized Jesus was such a huge fan of bloodsport.
P.S. Happy 62nd birthday, omnipresent threat of instantaneous annihilation.
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