Celebrating milestones in merchandising and the 62nd anniversary of Hiroshima. More so the former.

Posted on August 6th, 2007

Please understand that we would never criticize Rihanna for selling out. We don't even have a measurable Q score and we're selling shit with our faces on it (and at such reasonable prices!). But, still... umbrellas? Isn't that a wee bit obvious? To say nothing of boring. Oh, it would be the perfect choice for Patrick Macnee or Burgess Meredith, but surely a nineteen-year-old pop starlet would be better off with a perfume or fundamentalist swimwear.

Still, I've seen stranger examples of merchandising:

Captain Kirk Bear

In the history of teddy bear figurines, has there ever been one quite so cocksure? Imagine him perched on your night table, watching you have sex.

Spider Dog

"God damn you to hell for this."


Kung Fu Christ

This last one is particularly awesome, as I never realized Jesus was such a huge fan of bloodsport.


P.S. Happy 62nd birthday, omnipresent threat of instantaneous annihilation.

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