Pay no attention to that man behind the counter

Posted on April 3rd 2006

This will not be the funniest blog I've written. It will, however, be the most ass-covering.

Let me be 100% clear: we have no reason to believe, nor are we suggesting, that the restaurant referenced in the comic has, or has ever had, any form of pest control issues. I have eaten there in the past and will definitely do so again in the future – the bacon cheese dog is quite tasty, though their fries suck. In the interest of full disclosure, I should also note that Jamie and I have worked on two foodservice accounts, one of which is a direct competitor. Dialogue for The Orkin Man™, incidentally, was quoted almost verbatim from www.orkin.com.

As I've mentioned before, I don't so much write these comics as I do plagiarize our lives. Last Tuesday, I patronized the restaurant in question at a Toronto food court. My server's name was Rose. Standing right beside her, behind the counter and in full uniform, was The Orkin Man™. For all I know, he was visiting his sister. Orkin also offers free consultations for foodservice providers who wish to go the extra mile and exceed health code requirements. The point is: I'm sure it was something completely innocent. My only word of advice to the manager would be that, for most people, perception defines reality. So, if you're in the food biz and a uniformed exterminator drops by (for whatever reason), you might want to confine that rendezvous to the back room where customers can't make unfortunate mental connections. I'm just sayin'.

On to other business. Last week, we asked readers to submit new unsubscribe lines for the mailing list. One entirely predictable consequence that still caught me completely off-guard was my inability to distinguish between submissions and subscribers who genuinely wanted out. If you were mistakenly removed from the list, please accept my apologies and click here. By the same token, if you see your line on the following list when you actually intended to cut us loose… why are you here?

To unsubscribe, simply reply to this e-mail with the subject line:

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Thanks to everyone who submitted and props to Keith for being exceedingly quotable. The original plan was to put our favourites to a vote, but now I'm thinking I can use a new one every week and cruise through the fall. Besides, I need the Words vs. Pictures space for revenge. Last week's debate taught me something dark and terrible about the human soul in general and our readers in particular. I am the Omega Man in a world of testicle-slapping psychopaths.

-Graham

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